37 Weeks

Alright, alright, alrighhhhhttttt (*Kevin Hart voice*) 
I know I skipped yet again a couple of weeks... maybe even more then a month, but guess what? I am so close! This pregnancy has been crazy! Ups and Downs and twirls and spins, but it's almost over! It's almost time for my life to completely change and I literally can't wait. I am so impatient, you have no idea. I've been trying so many "natural" labor inducing things but ain't nothing working. I feel like all of that is crap! But, I'm still doing them.... I'm sick of the "oh hunny, she'll come when she's ready?" Well guess what? I'm ready!!!! Towards the end of pregnancy, you start to get a little crazy. I was crazy before so my level has increased more. Throughout my whole pregnancy, I felt that God had been teaching me patience, and there was nothing I could do so I had it. But with the finals days/weeks of  a pregnancy everything is out the window! Forget about it ! I'm so done haha (p.s. I know I'm being dramatic) As the days countdown, I decided to let my two forms of favorite social media on rest. (insta and facebook) they just make me even more anxious and jealous of people's lives, because I went through a phase of mine sucking. But how can it suck when the love of my life is coming any day now? I know that my birth and even pregnancy was a surprise when I was being born, so maybe my baby is doing the same. It would just be nice to have a head's up because I am still working and going to school. The earlier is the better for me, so I'll just be here waiting Kaia. haha I haven't fully packed my hospital bag yet or her bag, I haven't had that nesting feeling yet of I need to get everything done. I just have been in chilling mood. I am moody, irritable, crampy, and waiting for contractions to start. I have another doctors appt this Tuesday so I am going to see my progress then. Last doc appt, I was for some reason measuring slower now. Meaning that I was a 34 when I should of been 35 ... so that was weird. Anyway, I'm excited for this appt and I have been going by myself which I like as well. Sure, I would like company but I rather just be totally comfortable and get in and get out. Anyway, because that time is approaching so quickly, I'm giving you an exclusive pregnancy pic of me.

 

 (I think I was like 34 or 35 weeks?) That's me doe!

I know, I know... "you're so small" "OMG" haha my doctor doesn't see me pushing out anything bigger then a 6 lb baby, which is totally fine with me because I'm not trying to tear or anything.  Also, here's a pic of baby girl's closet.... getting fuller and fuller. AHHH I'm so excited.

I literally cried today because I just can't wait to have her in my arms. I know that she is just going to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not sure what the lesson for all of this happening is yet... but I just know I can't wait to have my best friend in my arms. I have always taken care of people, but I feel that it is totally different when it's your own daughter. I also have always felt a disconnect from my family, like the "black sheep" or just don't really feel like I fit in sometimes, so I'm just so excited to never make her feel that way. I promise that I will provide for her as much and hard a s I can. I promise to be sensitive of her feelings and always communicate with her. I promise to treat others well for her. Just waiting for you Kaia. All you.

I just had to add this little video of my niece Skylar. I think she is excited for Kaia to and thinks she is "so nice" :) This makes me so happy.

Anyway, I think I have written enough for this 37 week update. Yet, I didn't forget about the survey. Peace and love!!! Till I write again ;)

How Far Along?: on my 37th week

Total Weight Gain?: I'm about 117 now

Maternity Clothes?: haha nope. I think I got one pair of maternity leggings as a gift but thats about it

Stretch Marks?: ok, yeah. It's bad :(

Sleep?: ehhh, I wake up a lot

Movement?: She reminds me she's there yup. Still my favorite thing though. Hiccups, I could do without

Food Cravings?: oranges and salad are my thing right now

Queasy/sick?: Occasionally, but not as bad as the 1st trimester

Gender?: My baby girl

Labor signs?: Cramping, sharp back pains, and other weird things.

Symptoms?: can I just say I feel like crap all the time now?

Happy/Moody?:  Content

Relationship Status?: Single

Miss anything?: I miss my body :(

Best Moment of the Week?: a particular text ;)

Looking forward too?: Finally meeting my daughter. Soon Kaia come !!! :)

Baby Shower! - January

          My baby shower was about the most fun I have had in a really long time. I was surround by so much love and really felt the excitement of waiting to be a new mom. I started off my day with a morning of work and then rushed to head up to Draper to help my sister and mom set up. When I walked in, it was so beautifully decorated. My dad's upstairs had been transitioned into a beautiful room full of Kaia's baby clothes and shoes. I loved it. For the first time I had something done for me and it felt great because I always feel like I'm helping out others in my family. Anyway, bottom line is I got a ton of stuff for my baby girl and I was and still am so grateful for everyone that came. Some didn't come that I wanted to and they didn't have a reason, but you know what ? It's okay. I had a great time with those who came and I see where my support system is at. 
             I can't wait to tell my daughter about it in the future and let her know that there was even fried chicken there. Yes, I requested fried chicken and didn't think it was going to happen but it did. haha.  Gosh, I hope my daughter has my sense of humor when it comes to race. She's going to be four different cultures and the way I got through life with being just two, is embracing them and having fun with them. Menu: Fried Chicken, J-dawgs (utah thing), Caesar salad, fruit, chips, and of course dranksss. The dessert was chocolate eclairs, strawberry cupcakes, and a beautiful home-made ish cake that had my baby girl's name on it. I wish I had gotten more pictures of just the ambiance of this day, but at least I have the sweet memory.

 (excuse the paper and golfball.... lol)

 

        I won't lie. I did have a sad "pout" with one part of the baby shower. Even though I was surrounded by so many people that were excited for me and truly cared, I missed my ex. I just wish he was apart of the excitement. I missed him a lot this day. I debated if I should invite him or not, but I knew A) he wouldn't come B) he's not ready yet. I'm sure there's C's and D's and E's to this too, but I just didn't want to feel rejected again. I know even when my daughter is here I will have those days, but just have to keep trekking through. That was the only thing that felt off that day, just wish he was there. But other then that, Twas a great day on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in January.