37 Weeks

Alright, alright, alrighhhhhttttt (*Kevin Hart voice*) 
I know I skipped yet again a couple of weeks... maybe even more then a month, but guess what? I am so close! This pregnancy has been crazy! Ups and Downs and twirls and spins, but it's almost over! It's almost time for my life to completely change and I literally can't wait. I am so impatient, you have no idea. I've been trying so many "natural" labor inducing things but ain't nothing working. I feel like all of that is crap! But, I'm still doing them.... I'm sick of the "oh hunny, she'll come when she's ready?" Well guess what? I'm ready!!!! Towards the end of pregnancy, you start to get a little crazy. I was crazy before so my level has increased more. Throughout my whole pregnancy, I felt that God had been teaching me patience, and there was nothing I could do so I had it. But with the finals days/weeks of  a pregnancy everything is out the window! Forget about it ! I'm so done haha (p.s. I know I'm being dramatic) As the days countdown, I decided to let my two forms of favorite social media on rest. (insta and facebook) they just make me even more anxious and jealous of people's lives, because I went through a phase of mine sucking. But how can it suck when the love of my life is coming any day now? I know that my birth and even pregnancy was a surprise when I was being born, so maybe my baby is doing the same. It would just be nice to have a head's up because I am still working and going to school. The earlier is the better for me, so I'll just be here waiting Kaia. haha I haven't fully packed my hospital bag yet or her bag, I haven't had that nesting feeling yet of I need to get everything done. I just have been in chilling mood. I am moody, irritable, crampy, and waiting for contractions to start. I have another doctors appt this Tuesday so I am going to see my progress then. Last doc appt, I was for some reason measuring slower now. Meaning that I was a 34 when I should of been 35 ... so that was weird. Anyway, I'm excited for this appt and I have been going by myself which I like as well. Sure, I would like company but I rather just be totally comfortable and get in and get out. Anyway, because that time is approaching so quickly, I'm giving you an exclusive pregnancy pic of me.

 

 (I think I was like 34 or 35 weeks?) That's me doe!

I know, I know... "you're so small" "OMG" haha my doctor doesn't see me pushing out anything bigger then a 6 lb baby, which is totally fine with me because I'm not trying to tear or anything.  Also, here's a pic of baby girl's closet.... getting fuller and fuller. AHHH I'm so excited.

I literally cried today because I just can't wait to have her in my arms. I know that she is just going to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not sure what the lesson for all of this happening is yet... but I just know I can't wait to have my best friend in my arms. I have always taken care of people, but I feel that it is totally different when it's your own daughter. I also have always felt a disconnect from my family, like the "black sheep" or just don't really feel like I fit in sometimes, so I'm just so excited to never make her feel that way. I promise that I will provide for her as much and hard a s I can. I promise to be sensitive of her feelings and always communicate with her. I promise to treat others well for her. Just waiting for you Kaia. All you.

I just had to add this little video of my niece Skylar. I think she is excited for Kaia to and thinks she is "so nice" :) This makes me so happy.

Anyway, I think I have written enough for this 37 week update. Yet, I didn't forget about the survey. Peace and love!!! Till I write again ;)

How Far Along?: on my 37th week

Total Weight Gain?: I'm about 117 now

Maternity Clothes?: haha nope. I think I got one pair of maternity leggings as a gift but thats about it

Stretch Marks?: ok, yeah. It's bad :(

Sleep?: ehhh, I wake up a lot

Movement?: She reminds me she's there yup. Still my favorite thing though. Hiccups, I could do without

Food Cravings?: oranges and salad are my thing right now

Queasy/sick?: Occasionally, but not as bad as the 1st trimester

Gender?: My baby girl

Labor signs?: Cramping, sharp back pains, and other weird things.

Symptoms?: can I just say I feel like crap all the time now?

Happy/Moody?:  Content

Relationship Status?: Single

Miss anything?: I miss my body :(

Best Moment of the Week?: a particular text ;)

Looking forward too?: Finally meeting my daughter. Soon Kaia come !!! :)

Baby Shower! - January

          My baby shower was about the most fun I have had in a really long time. I was surround by so much love and really felt the excitement of waiting to be a new mom. I started off my day with a morning of work and then rushed to head up to Draper to help my sister and mom set up. When I walked in, it was so beautifully decorated. My dad's upstairs had been transitioned into a beautiful room full of Kaia's baby clothes and shoes. I loved it. For the first time I had something done for me and it felt great because I always feel like I'm helping out others in my family. Anyway, bottom line is I got a ton of stuff for my baby girl and I was and still am so grateful for everyone that came. Some didn't come that I wanted to and they didn't have a reason, but you know what ? It's okay. I had a great time with those who came and I see where my support system is at. 
             I can't wait to tell my daughter about it in the future and let her know that there was even fried chicken there. Yes, I requested fried chicken and didn't think it was going to happen but it did. haha.  Gosh, I hope my daughter has my sense of humor when it comes to race. She's going to be four different cultures and the way I got through life with being just two, is embracing them and having fun with them. Menu: Fried Chicken, J-dawgs (utah thing), Caesar salad, fruit, chips, and of course dranksss. The dessert was chocolate eclairs, strawberry cupcakes, and a beautiful home-made ish cake that had my baby girl's name on it. I wish I had gotten more pictures of just the ambiance of this day, but at least I have the sweet memory.

 (excuse the paper and golfball.... lol)

 

        I won't lie. I did have a sad "pout" with one part of the baby shower. Even though I was surrounded by so many people that were excited for me and truly cared, I missed my ex. I just wish he was apart of the excitement. I missed him a lot this day. I debated if I should invite him or not, but I knew A) he wouldn't come B) he's not ready yet. I'm sure there's C's and D's and E's to this too, but I just didn't want to feel rejected again. I know even when my daughter is here I will have those days, but just have to keep trekking through. That was the only thing that felt off that day, just wish he was there. But other then that, Twas a great day on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in January.

24 Weeks!!!

I have been so awful at keeping up at this. Life just got the best of me, but I'M BACK! With so much information to share, so I hope you all have been at the end of your seats for freakin 2 months! Drum roll please for the GENDER REVEAL: IT'S A GIRL. I am having a baby girl that will be my best friend and I literally cannot wait. I am so excited. I wanted to an individual post of the gender reveal but I figured ya'll don't really care too much haha so I'll just combine it with my 24th week survey. I found maybe a week or two earlier then your average 20 week ultrasound/gender reveal. This was so that my mom could attend and after some dramatic events she was able to make it and it worked out great. My anxiety was so high laying on that table and having the warm gel placed on my tiny bump. I felt that it was a boy and I don't know how to raise a boy and I knew there most likely would not be a male figure in his life so I got super nervous, but then the ultrasound tech winked at me because I told her to wink if it's not a boy. There was my answer. I was having a girl. I smiled. Still nervous. but even more excited to have the ultimate mini Blakey. Her name will be Kaia Staige Owens. I'm still thinking about hyphenating the father's last name before my last name, but I'm not sure yet. I still have some decisions to make and there is no rush. I am beginning to start her room and it's kinda crazy. My little collection is growing. I will be getting the crib I want this weekend (black friday WASSUP) her stroller next month, I purchased her car seat this week. It's starting to come together. I feel so good getting what I need for her. I know it will be hard and all my money is disappearing before I even make it, but it's so worth it. It's for the best little person I will ever know and I just can't wait to meet my little angel.

How Far Along?: Almost 25 weeks.

Total Weight Gain?: 110 lbs.

Maternity Clothes?: Need maternity pants… my size 1's just don't do the job anymore. 

Stretch Marks?: None yet, but I'm itching. 

Sleep?: So uncomfortable …. 

Movement?: I'm feeling the kicks and EVERYTHING. and you can feel it and see it outside the stomach too. Favorite thing. Feels so weird though.

Food Cravings?: Red sauce

Queasy/sick?: Yeahhhh, but it's lightened up. Just the mornings pretty much now. 

Gender?: IT's A GIRL! 

Labor signs?: Lots of weird feelings but I still have some time to go. 

Symptoms?: I have the biggest boobs ever, none of my pants fit, I feel fat looking in the mirror, and my self confidence has lowered significantly….. those are my symptoms on a bad day haha but still slightly depressed but working through it. 

Happy/Moody?:  Um, my brother is making a Taco Bell run for me at 10:30 pm and I'm face timing my best friend in Guatemala, so I'm pretty happy. 

Relationship Status?: Single

Miss anything?: Its making a comeback….taco bell helllooo haha

Best Moment of the Week?:Thanksgiving tomorrow! 

Looking forward too?: Having this freakin baby. I can't wait to meet HER!!!! AHHHHH!!

15 Weeks

SOOO Good news. My Due date has moved up 10 days! haha so though this is the 15 week update it should be the 16th week... but then I figure this is the end of 15 weeks so I'm good to go. March 13th is the date and I couldn't be any happier. Today I'm just feeling super excited and now I am getting ready to go out with my new friends from Cultural Envoy to go dancing! I am pretty tired, but we'll see how it goes. School was overwhelming, but still going.

How Far Along?: Almost 16 weeks

Total Weight Gain?: 108

Maternity Clothes?: I wear what I want alright?! Just not tight, then I have a bump.

Stretch Marks?: None, gotta lotion up though. 

Sleep?: Been sleeping fine, just had to wake up early this morning so I'm pretty tired.

Movement?: There is movement but I just can't feel it yet

Food Cravings?: Salty foods

Queasy/sick?: Yeahhhh, but it's lightened up slightly.

Gender?: Baby boy??! (dont know yet)

Labor signs?: None

Symptoms?: I'll quote from last week because it's still pretty dead on... "Pretty much the same old shingdig. Except they are ever so slightly softening up. Yet, my boobs are still tender, bad mood, nausea, fatigued, and the sadness. which needs to stop."

Happy/Moody?:  I'm pretty content right now

Relationship Status?: Happily single

Miss anything?: I miss my appetite.

Best Moment of the Week?:finishing all my homework

Looking forward too?: Finding out the GENDAAAA

14 Weeks

Finishing up my 14th week. Did that go by fast or whaaaa?! Life is changing and I am keeping so busy and it feels so good. I guess whats been on my mind a lot is this song exactly....

"We've been traveling this road
Together for so long
And it never it occurred to me
That one day i'd be traveling alone " 
"How does it feel to love someone,
 so much, and then its gone"

Truth is: It feels awful. But other then that I've had a really good week. My mom's leaving again which stinks, but oh well. I'll be okay. Happy 14 weeks to me! hello 15 weeks. 

How Far Along?: 14 weeks +

Total Weight Gain?: 106ish

Maternity Clothes?: whatever doesn't cling to my belly is good haha

Stretch Marks?: None! need to lotion up more though

Sleep?: ehhh, iight.... about to start taking unisom to get a better rest.

Movement?: YUP, just can't feel it yet

Food Cravings?: I don't like food again for right now

Queasy/sick?: Yeahhhh, but it's lightened up slightly.

Gender?: Baby boy??! (dont know yet)

Labor signs?: None

Symptoms?: I'll quote from last week because it's still pretty dead on... "Pretty much the same old shingdig. Except they are ever so slightly softening up. Yet, my boobs are still tender, bad mood, nausea, fatigued, and the sadness. which needs to stop."

Happy/Moody?:  I'm alrightttt

Relationship Status?: Happily single

Miss anything?: I miss my appetite.

Best Moment of the Week?: dance practiceeee

Looking forward too?: Finding out the GENDAAAA.and doctors appt coming up.

13 Weeks

ok, ok... I have to admit this week has been a crazy one and I totally forgot to do my usual baby bump update picture on Thursday, but life got the best of me. I apologize. Right now, I am way too tired to post a pic, but I'll edit this post and post it soon!.... So much is going on and almost feels like too much, but I'm trucking through. Yet, after a few friends read my blog (pertaining to the last post about being MIA) it was nice of them to send a text and just say "Love you, and you know I'm here whenever you're ready"or "Do you need anything?" or "I know you don't want to talk, but I'm here for you"... *sigh* I really appreciated that. People who don't understand, but try too. Ya'll are the best. Yeah, they don't know what's going on exactly, but it was nice to still feel that sense of care instead of an attack.... 
Anyway, moving on. That was my week and TGIF. Oh, newsflash! I also decided to check out a multicultural dancing group called Cultural Envoy that I was invited to be apart of. I enjoyed it so much that I plan on doing it just for this semester. (We shall see...)  Luckily our first show is in October, so looks like I'll be able to perform again before I get bigger and BIGGER. I love the people in that group. Totally chill and soooo respectful and friendly. Felt really nice and refreshing. So, things are looking up in life right now. This week went from plummeting down into the earths core to rising back up above the ground now and I ain't complaining. Sure, I have my good days and some really bad... but I love my good, positive, uplifting days. I wish they'd never end.

How Far Along?: 13 weeks +

Total Weight Gain?: 106ish this week

Maternity Clothes?: Sweatpants are life, but forreal.

Stretch Marks?: None yet HALLELUJAH.

Sleep?: ehhh, if I could get one quiet and comfortable nights sleep, it would be nice. Yet, I better get use to not having that.

Movement?: Sometimes I think I do, but then I see I'm just breathing and I'm only 13 weeks haha

Food Cravings?: I honestly don't like food again for right now. I'm constantly hungry but everything sounds gross to me. Sticking with smoothies.

Queasy/sick?: Yeahhhh, unfortunately.  Though, it should be easing up soon since I'm hitting that trimester TWO dawg!

Gender?: I'll say it: I'm hoping for a baby boy.

Labor signs?: None, besides I have been getting cramps lately. Nothing to do with labor, but yeah.

Symptoms?: I'll quote from last week because it's still pretty dead on... "Pretty much the same old shingdig. Except they are ever so slightly softening up. Yet, my boobs are still tender, bad mood, nausea, fatigued, and the sadness. which needs to stop."

Happy/Moody?:  I'm pretty content right now.

Relationship Status?: Happily single

Miss anything?: I really miss being able to eat till my stomach couldn't hold any more.

Best Moment of the Week?: Today. Not feeling good to go to school, pushed through anyway and had a great day and met new good friends. 

Looking forward too?: Finding out the GENDAAAA. What's your guess?

MIA

Yes. I have been MIA. Well, not counting last saturday and sunday, but I am now. Can't do the friends thing anymore. Just on a different level now. I guess I should be friends with single moms or simply moms now...they seem to understand me a little bit more. I guess my age-ish kinda people are still into gossiping and sharing their opinions they know nothing about... so my way of handling it?... MIA. Just going to go to school, be with my family, and take care of my body. Sorry friends, but just need to still keep focusing on myself and I think this is the best way. Bad / Good idea? I don't know. I'm still figuring things out, but my blog is still here. I won't be MIA on here ;) Oh and happy september! Gender Reveal weeks awayyyyyyyy!